How Do I Do This?

I try not to think about it any more than I have to. But it's like this dark rain cloud following me everywhere, waiting to burst.

MY HUSBAND WILL BE GONE FOR A YEAR!!

The closer it gets, the more real it feels. He's packing his stuff, making piles of stuff for me to send him.

I can't sleep.

I lay in bed for hours. My mind going a hundred miles a minute. It doesn't stop.

What do I do?!

I have so many amazing people in my life, friends, family, other military wives. They are all telling me that I'm strong. I will be ok. I can do a lot while he's gone. Go to school, volunteer, lose weight, etc. And I know that I can and will do those things. And more. I'm not worried about those times.

I'm worried about the times when I'm at home. Alone. That's when the tears will come.

Heck, they do now! This is so hard.

This is me. Honest.

Much Love,

The Life of a Military Wife

I am just a few weeks into being a military wife. The depth of the meaning of "military spouse" has not yet quite caught up to me. I am still in the newlywed "honeymoon" stages. Of being married and being a military wife. I've got my "Army Wife" bumper sticker, license plate, key chain, mugs and hat! But am I really prepared for the responsibilities that this job carries?

I just finished reading "Going Overboard: The Misadventures of a Military Wife" by Sarah Smiley. She tells about her experiences, and short comings, during her husband's sudden deployment. I think this book was good for me. It helped me understand a little more what its like. How it will be when my husband is 7000+ miles away for 12 months!

Every day is one day closer to the day he leaves. Every day is one day closer to the day that half my heart will be seperated from me. Every day is precious to me because I am dreading that day. I don't even know when THAT DAY is! They have told us what month. But it could be any day that month.

We have to start packing our apartment up. I am moving back to Nashville so I don't feel COMPLETELY alone for a year. I want to have the majority of our things packed up, because I will be moving after he deploys. Meaning I will be an emotional WRECK! I am NOT looking forward to that. IT WILL SUCK! Nevertheless, we are packing. (I AM looking forward to getting out of this crappy apartment!) We also have to pack the stuff he is taking with him. I think it has to ship out sometime next month. EEK! HOW do you pack for a YEAR!?! That is so overwhelming to me. They have given him a list of things to pack, but how do you pack stuff other than your military gear for twelve months?! I just don't know.

This is what I am going through. My daily thoughts. I lay in bed at night thinking about tons of things. Not able to go to sleep. It is so frustrating. How am I going to be able to sleep when he is not in the bed with me?

Much Love,

Valentine's Day 2010

This is our 2nd Valentine's day together, but our first as husband and wife. Last year he bought me some awesome gifts. A movie, some chocolate, a pink teddy bear, and had roses sent to my office! It was great. This year, he let me go spend the weekend with my mom and sister! LOL!

See, my dad goes to Mardi Gras every year with a group of guys for street witnessing. So that is our girls weekend. So my amazing hubby decided that he would pick up some extra shifts at Outback (so he'd have something to do!) so I could spend the weekend with my mom and sister. But he didn't forget about me! On Saturday he had flowers sent to my mom's house for me. Five red roses and one purple rose. (Since purple is my fave color) It was so awesome. (I got mine a couple of hours after my mom got roses sent from my dad!!)

My flowers

 

My mommy with her flowers and chocolate from my dad!

On Sunday, after hubby got off work and I got back from Nashville, we went to Olive Garden for dinner. Which was OH SO AMAZING!! (Seriously try the new Four Cheese Stuffed Pansotti with Chicken!) After our fabulous dinner, we headed to the movie theater to see "Valentine's Day". I really wanted to see it! I am so glad hubby agreed to see it because it was awesome! So much better than I thought it would be. If you haven't seen it, I'm not going to give anything away. If you have seen it, then you should understand why Julia Roberts' character was my favorite. (If you don't understand why, ask me!)

When we got home, this is what we saw:

 

(Sorry the pic is so dark. It was taken on my phone, because I can't find my camera!)

 

This is the pop-up card (bottom left), stuffed animals & chocolate (right) that hubby got me!!

I had gotten the banner and the balloon with the teddy bear to weigh it down for the Valentine's Day themed scrapbooking day my mom, sister and I had with some friends on Saturday. Part of our girls weekend. I brought them back home before I went to Olive Garden to meet hubby. I hadn't seen his gifts for me though! He also got me Sarah Palin's new book that I've been begging for! YAY! So excited to read that! I got hubby a giant red heart pen (He uses giant pens to take orders at Outback!) and some chocolate. I didn't get him anything else, because he is getting a Zune for his birthday! His birthday was last week, but I just ordered the Zune. LOL! He knew he was getting it. That was he can have tons of music while he's deployed.

So that was our Valentine's Day. I think it was pretty awesome! What did you do for Valentine's Day?

Much Love,

My Husband Rocks Friday

This is my first MHR post since I got married. I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me, protects me, supports me, and romances me. He works hard to provide for me. Sometimes too hard. He takes time to think of things to plan for me. Like for our first Valentine's Day together as husband and wife. He has to work, but he still has something planned for us. I am so blessed.


Much Love,

To Use Coupons or Not

I'm sure a lot of you are more coupon savvy than I am. I am just getting started to use coupons. My parents think it's a waste of time, especially when I have an Aldi so close to me. (For those of you who don't know what Aldi is, it's a store that basically only carries their own brand. So they don't take coupons) But I have decided to use coupons. I have been clipping and cutting for days! I have my little coupon accordion file, and my categories. I'm really very excited. I've also started watching Southern Savers for sales and which coupons to use. *MAN those women put a lot of work in that!!*

Hubby and I went grocery shopping this past weekend, (which isn't the greatest time to go! Mon-Wed is best) and we had a ton of coupons. Ended up saving over $40!! I was impressed. And we didn't even do it with the most savings! Next time I will be more organized and hopefully match the coupons and sales better!

Do you use coupons? Do you have any tips?

Much Love,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUBBY!!!

Today is my amazing Husband's birthday! We were lucky to get snow last night, so he didn't have to work today. First time he's gotten to sleep in on his birthday! YAY! But now we can't do what I had planned for tonight, because of the snow. On to Plan B!

Happy Birthday my Love!!

Much Love,

My Body Does NOT Like This!

The day after I went to the doctor's office for the first time, I had to go back. They wanted to take blood, but I couldn't eat anything after midnight. I had eaten breakfast before going the first time so they told me to come back.

I had never had blood drawn in my life! I was nervous, but my amazing husband was there went me. Even though he can't stand the sight of blood, he was still there for me. I am so glad!

After the nurse tried once in each arm, with no luck, the doctor came in and got it on the first try. But after that, both of my arms felt numb and tingly. I was worried about that. Is that normal?! After a little while my left arm felt normal again, but my right arm (where they got the blood from) was numb and tingly all day. After a while it actually started to hurt! I called my mom, who is a registered nurse, and asked her what I should do. Know what she said? "You'll be ok". She didn't even answer my question! Great mom. Great.

Thankfully after some tylenol and a good night's rest, my arm is back to normal.

Then, YESTERDAY, the day after my arm thing, I hit my pinkie nail on the frame of our couch. I still have my acrylic nails on from our wedding, 3 weeks ago. I've been meaning to get them taken off, I just haven't. When I hit my nail, it ripped off part of my real nail!! Its still attached at the cuticle and the acrylic nail is still attached, so I put a bandaid on it to keep them on. I'm hoping that it will either reattach itself, or my nail will just grow out and I can keep clipping the nail. Thankfully it doesn't hurt today. Yesterday though...OMG! So bad. I had to take a percocet. LOL!

Well, long story short, I do not like pain. My friend says I should live in a cage so I can't hurt myself. Hmm... Maybe she's right...

Much Love,

First Doctor's Visit in YEARS!!

I haven't had medical insurance since I was 19 years old. Now that I'm married to a soldier, I have medical insurance again! Which is so good! So I went to the doctor last week for the first time in YEARS! Since it was the first time I had been there, we just did a few things. Like they took my temp, blood pressure, etc. The dr asked me questions about my health problems. I told her about my constant menstrual cycle. She told me that from the things I've said, she thinks I probably have PCOS. That is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, for those of you who don't know.

What is polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?

Polycystic (pah-lee-SIS-tik) ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a health problem that can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, ability to have children, hormones, heart, blood vessels, and appearance. With PCOS, women typically have:

• high levels of androgens (AN-druh-junz). These are sometimes called male hormones, although females also make them.
• missed or irregular periods
• many small cysts (sists) in their ovaries. Cysts are fluid-filled sacs.

I have a few friends that have PCOS and I have talked about the symptoms they have and I thought that I could have it. Thinking you have it and having your dr say that you have it are completely different things.

Getting home from the doctor's office, reading over the symptoms and complications of PCOS, I started to get a little emotional. This is one of the leading causes for infertility. Not everyone that has it, has trouble with getting pregnant. But not being able to have kids has always been my big fear. Now it just feel like it has come true.

My husband and I aren't planning to have kids for a couple of years anyways. If I'm not able to conceive, maybe we should start saving money for adoption now. We decided a while ago that we wanted to adopt no matter what. I'm still hoping it's not our only option for having children.

Thankfully I have a built in support group! Outside of my family and friends, I also have a handful of friends who have PCOS. They know what it's like, they know how I feel. I am so thankful for them!!

Much Love,

Goals for 2010

On the way home from my parents house tonight, my husband and I were talking about my blog. I told him I wanted to do more with it. Up til now it has been mostly just a journal of my life. Which is great! I love reading personal blogs about people's day to day life. But I also love reading posts about other topics.

So I decided that I want to come up with some topics that I will write about on a consistent basis. I would love for you, my readers, to help me come up with some topics that you would like to read about on my blog. Now, don't get me wrong. I will still be blogging about my personal life. Trust me. With my husband deploying in a few months, it will be necessary! But what are some things that you would be interested in?

Another goal I have for this year and beyond is to make my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. I'm sure you've seen/heard of these lists. A lot of my friends are doing them. I have been wanting to do this for a while now, I just haven't made my list! I've started it!! But I still have a few dozen things to add! LOL! So be on the lookout for my list!

Well friends, it is getting late. My husband is getting ready for bed, so I must finish up here. Its time to snuggle with my love. *happy sigh!*

Much Love,

Please Forgive Me!

I know. I'm horribly behind on my blog! But I have just been enjoying my new married life. My husband is so wonderful! We have been enjoying each other for the last 2 weeks. We didn't go on a honeymoon yet, so the week after we got married we just stayed home and relaxed. That Thursday he had laser eye surgery and I got to play nurse and take care of him. He's doing much better now and can see great! He went back to work on Monday but only for a couple of hours. Tuesday was back to normal. Thankfully his second job has been cut wayyy back so we have been able to spend some good quality time together!

This weekend, we are at my parents house. Snowed in. First time in YEARS! Lol! So we're hoping we will be able to drive home tomorrow so hubby can be back for work on Monday!

Today we have been married for TWO WEEKS! It still hasn't sunk in all the way, I don't think! I randomly think to myself "OMG! I'm MARRIED!!" But I completely love it!

Other than that, life isn't all that excited for me. I'm trying to come up with some things for me to do during the day. I'll have to get into that later though. I am going to try to blog more regularly. My readers need SOMETHING! (I love you ALL!)

Well, it's late. I will update more tomorrow! I promise!

Much Love,

I'M MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was a dream come true. It was so beautiful. Everything went great! There were a few things that didn't go as planned, but it all worked out great! And now I am married to the love of my life. We have been spending today with family before they go home. Tomorrow we are going home. Our honeymoon is going to be later. I will be loading pictures soon! Here's one though!

Much Love,