How Do I Do This?

I try not to think about it any more than I have to. But it's like this dark rain cloud following me everywhere, waiting to burst.

MY HUSBAND WILL BE GONE FOR A YEAR!!

The closer it gets, the more real it feels. He's packing his stuff, making piles of stuff for me to send him.

I can't sleep.

I lay in bed for hours. My mind going a hundred miles a minute. It doesn't stop.

What do I do?!

I have so many amazing people in my life, friends, family, other military wives. They are all telling me that I'm strong. I will be ok. I can do a lot while he's gone. Go to school, volunteer, lose weight, etc. And I know that I can and will do those things. And more. I'm not worried about those times.

I'm worried about the times when I'm at home. Alone. That's when the tears will come.

Heck, they do now! This is so hard.

This is me. Honest.

Much Love,